


Health & Safety

by Эlиs (lenokkk)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Romance, Co-workers, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Humor, Lectures, Ministry of Magic Employee Draco Malfoy, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Romance, cons of being famous, original characters ship dramione
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenokkk/pseuds/%D0%ADl%D0%B8s
Summary: Eleven Health & Safety lectures where all Ministry Departments, including Malfoy’s and Granger’s, meet.* * *“I doubt she would voluntarily sit next to Malfoy.”“Look, the war ended six years ago. They couldn't care less about each other, why would sitting together be a big deal?”“It doesn't work that way, Grice.”“You're creating a scandal out of thin air.”“Holy Hell, they're whispering!”
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 40
Kudos: 205





	1. Lecture 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Техника безопасности](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/661996) by Some An. 



> Many thanks to Some An, the original author of this fic, and my wonderful betas anne_ammons and AlexD who patiently worked through my weird phrasing.

“Malfoy.”

“…”

“Malfoy, there's ink on your sleeve.”

_ “Fuck…” _

“It's that bad batch. Scourgify won't clean it.”

“…”

“…”

_ “Why are you telling me this?” _

“Sorry?”

_ “If you knew I wouldn't be able to remove it why would you point it out?” _

“Well, I…”

_ “Just so you wouldn't be the only one bothered by it?” _

“Hush! We're in the middle of a lecture…”

_ “You spoke first.” _

“Well, I couldn't ignore it. I guess I was bothered by it. Sorry, I’ll stop talking.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“What's your department?”

_ “Magical Transportation. Broom Regulatory Control.” _

“How long have you been there?”

_ “Two years.” _

“…”

_ “What’s yours?” _

“International Magical Cooperation  **—** Office of Law.”

_ “I see.” _

“Never saw you in the Ministry before.”

_ “We’ve never shared safety meetings before.” _

“Right. But we might've bumped into each other…”

_ “Highly unlikely.” _

“Seems so.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“These lectures are senseless.”

* * *

“That's so weird to see them sitting together.”

_ “Who?” _

“Malfoy and Granger.”

_ “And who are they?” _

“Grice, are you kidding me?”

_ “You're the one who watches people, Murphy. I don't do that sort of thing so I have no idea who you're talking about.” _

“There, see, that blonde bloke and the girl beside him. Granger and Potter have been friends for years, and Malfoy is the son of a Death Eater. Don't you know about Lucius Malfoy either?”

_ “Okay, well, I've read something about them. Just don't remember the details.” _

“Really, have you been living under a rock?”

_ “Oh, please. They sat together  _ —  _ so what?” _

“Don't play dumb! I've just explained all of it!”

**“Ahem. Sorry to interrupt, but...”**

_ “Oh right, we'll shut up now. Sorry for bothering you.” _

**“Not at all. Actually, I was wondering if I could pass a comment. About Malfoy and Granger.”**

“And you are?”

**“Duncan Overjump. Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.”**

“Sean Murphy, nice to meet you. So, what's on your mind?”

**“There was a vacant seat beside Malfoy, and Miss Granger showed up late. I know her, she's a real work addict — she doesn't go home until she gets the job done. That's why she had to take that seat.”**

“That sounds more like it. I doubt she would voluntarily sit next to Malfoy.”

_ “Look, the war ended six years ago. They couldn't care less about each other, why would sitting together be a big deal?” _

“It doesn't work that way, Grice.”

_ “You're creating a scandal out of thin air.” _

“Holy Hell, they're whispering!”

_ “Fascinating.” _

“Something's wrong, I tell you.”

**“To be honest, I am with you on that one, Mister Murphy.”**

“There! We'll check if they sit together next time.”

_ “Man, your hobbies are... very singular.” _


	2. Lecture 2

“Is this seat taken?”

_ “It isn't.” _

“May I?”

“…”

“Malfoy?”

_ “Granger, if it's not taken you're free to sit down.” _

“Don't be rude.”

_ “Don't ask stupid questions.” _

“It's just that it’s a convenient spot. The speaker can't see me behind the pillar, so I can mind my own business.”

_ “I see.” _

“…”

“…”

“I thought you wouldn't attend the second lecture.”

_ “They're mandatory.” _

“Well... you could have skipped it.”

_ “I don't want problems.” _

“I see.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

_ “Hell, why don't they just remind us that casting Unforgivables is illegal?” _

“Yes, it’s all very rudimentary.”

_ “What are you doing?” _

“Filling out my report…”

_ “You don't listen to them at all, do you?” _

“I don't.”

_ “Hmm.” _

“What?”

_ “You  _ are _ Hermione Granger…” _

“And because I am, I don't waste my time.”

_ “And if I turn you in?” _

“No one cares.”

_ “Uh-huh.” _

“…”

“…”

“Malfoy.”

_ “Mm?” _

“Just in case, don't tell anyone.”

_ “And what do I get in return for my efforts?” _

“Hm... A biscuit?”

_ “Excuse me?” _

“I have a  biscuit  here.”

“…”

“…”

_ “Give me one.” _

__

* * *

“They sat together again.”

_ “Really? Merlin's beard! Good grief!” _

“Grice, you don't get it, obviously.”

_ “Come on, they're grown ups. Perhaps they're just interested in talking to each other.” _

“I’m choosing to ignore your stupidity. Mister Overjump, how are you?”

**“I'm good, Mister Murphy, thank you! They sat together, did you notice?”**

“I did!”

**“But there were many vacant seats.”**

“See? Grice, stop rolling your eyes.”

_ “I understand that this lecture is incredibly boring. But please, restrain yourself.” _

**“Oh no, Mister Grice. Malfoy's been working here in the Ministry almost for two years, but he hasn’t made any friends. People treat him rather... coldly. It’s just strange that the first one to talk to him for more than a minute is Miss Granger who always prefers working to chatting with anyone.”**

_ “But how do you know this?” _

“I have my sources.”

_ “Sounds a bit dodgy.” _

**“Don't worry, it's all legal. Information finds its way to me.”**

“So they don't interact outside these walls, do they?”

**“Absolutely not.”**

_ “Perhaps they're talking so they don’t die of sheer boredom.” _

“No way. Something's still not right about this.”

_ “You have no facts.” _

“I have a feeling.”

_ “Oh! Surely, it's okay, then!” _


	3. Lecture 3

“—seems that if you combine these two spells it should work.”

_ “Are you aware that it's far easier to throw my shirt away than use the power of two wands simultaneously against a bad ink stain?” _

“That would be a pity to throw it away.”

_ “It wouldn't.” _

“...”

“...”

“You could bring it back for me to help with it.”

_ “Enough, Granger. I already got rid of it.” _

“Oh.”

“...”

“...”

_ “Do you have those sweets again with you?” _

“Swe— Ah! Biscuits? I do.”

“...”

“Do you want one?”

_ “No, I asked for no reason.” _

“Okay then.”

“...”

“Don't pout at me, it was a joke. Here you are.”

_ “Thanks, and I wasn’t pouting. What does that even mean?” _

“Well, you were scowling which increases your chances of getting premature wrinkles.”

_ “A bit rich coming from you. You're constantly furrowing your brows.” _

“Really?”

_ “Really. When you draft a report.” _

“...”

“...”

“Fancy to recommend me an anti-aging cream?”

_ “You seriously expect me to know of one?” _

“Your skin looks smoother than mine. You’re definitely doing something for it to be this way.”

_ “That's my Veela blood and nothing more.” _

“There is no Veela blood in your veins. Otherwise, I couldn't sit here and stay unaffected.”

_ “The question is whether I would waste my charms on you or not.” _

“First of all, you can't actually 'waste' any charms. And secondly, I'm the most promising employee in my Department — of course, you would!”

_ “Pfft!” _

__

* * *

“They're snickering about something. Together.”

_ “Don't give yourself a heart attack, Murphy.” _

“Are you finally going to admit that it's weird?”

_ “They've only shared a joke and laughed.” _

_ “Argh!.. Grice, you're driving me nuts. Mister Overjump…” _

**“I agree, their conversation seems rather friendly and very out of ordinary.”**

“They still don't talk outside this room?”

**“They don't. But Miss Granger has received flowers a few times, although the sender is not from the Ministry. I’m told she looks flattered when she reads the notes. The way I see it, she's got an admirer and there is mutual attraction.”**

_ “You're alarmingly well-informed about this again. No offense, but…” _

**“None taken. But again — I'm not a maniac. My secretary just likes to talk.”**

“Is it just me, or is Granger giving him sweets?”

**“Indeed. That's the second one already.”**

“And he keeps snorting. He definitely likes her jokes.”

_ “Now, colleagues... Where is your common courtesy?” _

“But they're right out in plain sight. What's the problem here?”

_ “You’re staring.” _

“...”

“...”

“She's lovely, isn't she?”

_ “Indeed. I noticed that long ago.” _

“Ha, maybe you're just jealous and that's why you're opposed to me figuring them out?”

_ “That's ridiculous. It's just... business attire certainly suits her.” _

“Oh, yes. That skirt.”

**“And my secretary keeps gushing to her friends time and time again how hot Malfoy is. Right behind my door.”**

“...”

“...”

“And now he’s the one making jokes. She's laughing quietly.”

_ “Murphy, please. At least try not to comment on her every action.” _


	4. Lecture 4

_ “If there were more than one of these lectures every week, I wouldn't be able to live through it.” _

“Agreed, at least we have a whole week to forget how boring these lectures are. But here we are again.”

“...”

“...”

_ “New perfume?” _

“Sorry?... Oh, yes, it’s... it’s a gift.”

_ “From Weasley?” _

“You mean, Ron? No, not from him.”

_ “Does he really approve of someone giving you such presents?” _

“Why should he disapprove?”

_ “Aren't you two dating?” _

“We’re not. We broke up long ago. You don't read the newspapers, do you?”

_ “Not after they called me a ‘sorry excuse for a Death Eater, praying for forgiveness for his father's sins.’” _

“...”

“...”

“That's not a nice thing to hear.”

_ “Yeah.” _

“...”

_ “It's distracting…” _

“Sorry?”

_ “You sound like a broken record.” _

“Can you just express it clearly?”

_ “Your perfume — it’s distracting me.” _

“Oh... Is it too strong?”

_ “I'm not sure.” _

“Unpleasant?”

_ “On the contrary.” _

“So — it’s good?”

“...”

“If it bothers you, just say it. Because I'm going to sit in this spot until the last of these eleven lectures.”

_ “Relax. I didn’t mean it like that. Forget what I’ve said.” _

“…”

“…”

“You smell nice today, too.”

“…”

“Malfoy.”

_ “Don't make me respond to that.” _

“Well, no, I meant to ask if you could help me with a work-related matter.”

_ “I can’t see how I possibly could.” _

“I'd rather not waste my time learning broom safety standards. But I need to know them to revise a piece of legislation.”

_ “You want me to help you?” _

“Malfoy, I told you that already.”

“…”

“…”

_ “Fine, that's not an issue for me.” _

“Good. Will you come by tomorrow morning?”

_ “Where?” _

“My office, 1203.”

_ “Okay.” _

“Thanks.”

_ “I haven't helped yet.” _

“Thank you for agreeing to help. I know no one in your Department, except you.”

_ “You won’t find someone better than me there.” _

“Ha!”

_ “Excuse me?” _

“I've been waiting for your ego to rear its ugly head. You've been acting modest, quite unlike yourself. I was afraid I mistook you for another Draco Malfoy.”

“…”

“…”

_ “That was a joke.” _

“I know, I made one, too.”

* * *

“He's looking at her.”

_ “And I'm looking at you. Do you 'see' something here as well?” _

“No, no, he looks at her every time she turns away. Look! What's the matter with his face?”

**“I would call that 'mixed emotions'.”**

“Why?”

_ “Maybe he just likes how she curled her hair today. It looks quite stunning.” _

“You think he has an eye for women's hairstyles as you do?”

_ “Well, it's obvious it looks good on her.” _

“Are you aware of your own staring?”

_ “Bugger off.” _

**“Today is Harry Potter's birthday. Perhaps they're celebrating after work.”**

“Fair enough. Ha, she's got him!”

_ “Excuse me?” _

“Hooked. You can dig in your heels all you want, but she's writing something and he's staring. And now she just bit her lip and he almost choked.”

_ “That could be a sign of lung disease.” _

“Don’t give me that.”

_ “Do you think she's looking to hook up with him?” _

“I don't feel like it…”

_ “Then it won't go any further than respiratory abnormalities.” _

“We will see.”

“…”

“She noticed his glances.”

_ “I wouldn't want to be under your watch, Murphy.” _


	5. Lecture 5

_ “How's the legislation going?” _

“Done. Your remarks were very helpful.”

_ “Good.” _

“…”

“…”

“...”

_ “Were those roses?” _

“Where?”

_ “On your desk.” _

“Ah, yes.”

_ “Never saw that type before.” _

“It's a new one. They're not for sale... yet.”

_ “Then how did you get them?” _

“Their creator sent them to me.”

_ “The one who gave you that perfume?” _

“Yes.”

_ “What did those cost you?” _

“...”

“...”

“That's a very rude question.”

_ “Sorry. It was too much.” _

“If you must know, he asks nothing of me. He’s old enough to be my father and once said that it just brings him joy to give me gifts.”

_ “So it's... gratuitous?” _

“It is. He's a nice man. I only helped him with some things for his business and attended his flower exhibition once.”

_ “I don't need to know all the details.” _

“I have nothing else to do.”

_ “Didn’t you bring some work to do?” _

“I'm done for today.”

_ “I see.” _

“...”

“...”

“Do you want a sweet?”

_ “Sure.” _

* * *

**“I saw them together.”**

_ “Glad to see you t—” _

“Are you for real?!”

**“For real. Mister Malfoy just walked out of Miss Granger's office.”**

“Disheveled?”

_ “Murphy…” _

**“No, no, that’s not it. It looked like a business meeting.”**

“This. Is. Very. Suspicious.”

**“Their conversations have grown more animated.”**

_ “She's casting sidelong glances at him as well.” _

“Grice?”

_ “There is no need to raise your brow. I just happened to see it.” _

“Uh-huh.”

**“Colleagues, look… she’s giving him a** **biscuit** **again.”**

“Hands are touching too long. Inappropriately long.”

_ “And glances.” _

“Holy Quaffle! Did she just lick her lips?”

**“Oh ho! Now Miss Granger is blushing deeply.”**

“And Malfoy doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

“...”

“...”

“Grice?”

_ “Fine, you're right. That is strange and unusual.” _


	6. Lecture 6

“What's this?”

_ “Documentation on brand-new brooms. I need to look over the papers.” _

“May I ask a question?”

_ “I'm a bit busy.” _

“...”

_ “Fine, ask away.” _

“What have you been doing since the war?”

_ “Well, first I had to resolve my lingering issues with the Wizengamot.” _

“I know about that from the Prophet. And then?”

_ “I was looking for a job.” _

“For so long?”

_ “Well, I'm not really the Golden Girl.” _

“Don't get annoyed. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“...”

“...”

_ “And what have you been doing?” _

“I attended Law School for two years, then joined the apprenticeship program here.”

_ “Good for you.” _

“Yeah, I consider myself pretty lucky.”

_ “You know, it has nothing to do with luck.” _

“...”

_ “Why didn't you and Weasley marry? Skeeter even published the photo of your engagement ring.” _

“Things happen. We've remained friends, but I don't want to talk about it.”

_ “Okay.” _

“And you?”

_ “What about me?” _

“Are you married yet?”

_ “No, I'm not.” _

“Do you have a girlfriend? Or a fiancée?”

_ “We broke up eight months ago.” _

“Mm... I'm sorry.”

_ “It's okay, it's all water under the bridge.” _

“...”

“...”

“...”

_ “I saw you having lunch alone.” _

“I saw you, too.”

_ “Would you like to get lunch with me?” _

“...why?”

_ “Just for the sake of it.” _

“...”

“...”

“...”

_ “Are you suddenly listening to the lecture or intentionally ignoring my question?” _

“I'm just confused.”

_ “Why? It's not like I’m suggesting we spend the night together. Eating lunch alone is boring, that's all.” _

“Fine, we can.”

_ “If you don't want to, just say it. I get it, you don’t want to be associated with a former Death Ea—" _

“Once again  _ — _ I’ll go. I don't mind.”

_ “Okay.” _

“...”

“...”

“You look tired, Malfoy.”

_ “It's been a hard week.” _

* * *

“She doesn't even try to hide it!”

_ “Excuse me?” _

“Her concern and worry.”

_ “Where do you see it?” _

“In her eyes.”

_ “They're five rows away, how could you see it?” _

“I'm well trained.”

_ “You're crazy.” _

“Grice, just look.”

**“Do you see this, too?”**

“He didn't dare.”

_ “What are you talking about?” _

“He was going to pull a strand of her hair, but drew his hand back.”

_ “You're going to burn holes right through them.” _

“He's trying to fight it. He’s keeping his head straight and now he’s reading something.”

**“And she is still watching.”**

“Yeah.”


	7. Lecture 7

“...”

“...”

_ “I thought you would sit far away from me.” _

“There were no free seats again.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“We need to discuss it.”

_ “Can we agree to just forget it happened?” _

“Not only did we bump into each other in the Ministry last night—"

_ “Granger—" _

“—although we didn't even know before that we had been working in the same building—"

_ “—let's just—” _

“ _ — _ and then you kissed me.”

_ “—forget about it.” _

“...”

_ “Do you expect me to apologize?” _

“I don't know.”

_ “If you don't know, why did you bring it up?” _

“We can't just ignore this.”

_ “We can.” _

“I really doubt it.”

_ “When the lectures are over, we'll stop seeing each other.” _

“Do you regret it?”

_ “I do.” _

“...”

_ “I acted on impulse; it was a bad idea.” _

“...”

_ “What’s the matter?” _

“It's nothing.”

_ “At this rate, you’ll need an entire jar of anti-wrinkle cream.” _

“Leave me alone, Malfoy.”

_ “Are you angry?” _

“I told you to let me be. I am working on forgetting about it right now.”

“...”

“...”

_ “You know, you kissed me back.” _

“...”

“...”

“...”

_“Granger, have a_ _biscuit_ _?”_

“...”

_ “Granger?” _

“...”

* * *

“This is adorable.”

_ “What's that?” _

“Their first fight.”

_ “Malfoy and Granger, again?” _

“Naturally.”

_ “When are you going to stop spying on them?” _

“Obviously, never. Muggle shows aren't nearly as entertaining as these two.”

_ “Because you fill in all the details as you like?” _

“Well... yep.”

**“They went for lunch together.”**

“Even I heard that piece of gossip.”

**“Well, that was probably the last time.”**

“You think so?”

**“Miss Granger looks both livid and disappointed.”**

“Could it be Malfoy has a fetish? Maybe he makes her angry intentionally to...”

_ “Murphy, you've just gone way over the line.” _

“What line? You're definitely jealous.”

_ “I am certainly not. I'm tired of you. What if the speaker is saying something useful and you make me miss it?” _

“...”

“...”

“...”

_ “Fine, the lecture is totally pointless.” _

“Thank Merlin, at least we agree on that.”

**“Miss Granger is not seeing anyone.”**

“But the flowers?”

**“They’re from a friend.”**

“Hmm...”

_ “They fit together.” _

“Malfoy and Granger?”

_ “Have we ever talked about someone else here?” _

“Why do you think they fit? Harry Potter's friend and the Death Eater boy.”

**“He was cleared.”**

“Doesn’t really matter. Grice?”

_ “I'm not sure, I just have a feeling. They are a good match for one another. There is a kind of harmony...” _

**“You are such a romantic.”**

“And what about Malfoy? Does he know how many beans make five?”

**“Oh, that’s not the word for it! I bet that, if not for his reputation, he would already be moving up ranks after his first year on the job.”**

“How interesting... Well, maybe there is a chance for him then.”

_ “If Granger ever calms down.” _

“Don't you fancy her like this, by the way?”

_ “Will you shut up, please?” _

“Ha-ha!”

“Gentlemen, would you lower the volume a bit?”

_ “Sorry, Mrs Parker.” _


	8. Lecture 8

_ “How’s it going, Granger?” _

“I intentionally chose another place to sit to spare you the thought of my existence.”

_ “And I've intentionally chosen to sit next to you.” _

“Why?”

_ “You're angry and I want to know why.” _

“Since when do you care about me?”

_ “For the first time in my life.” _

“…”

_ “Did you hope for more?” _

“Excuse me?”

_ “After the kiss. Did you hope for more?” _

“I didn't hope for anything. Don't flatter yourself, Malfoy.”

_ “Believe me, I try my best.” _

“…”

_ “What are these files?” _

“Work.”

_ “So you decided to keep yourself busy today?” _

“Exactly.”

_ “Are you free this evening?” _

“No. I have a date.”

_ “No way.” _

“Should I take offence to your surprise?”

_ “Who are you seeing?” _

“That's hardly your business.”

_ “That flower grampy?” _

“He's not that old.”

_ “You can’t be serious…” _

“No, not him.”

_ “So, someone else is sending you perfume now?” _

“You’re a real arse, Malfoy.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Malfoy, what are you doing?”

_ “Examining your bracelet. Interesting stones.” _

“Let go of my wrist.”

_ “I haven't finished yet.” _

“You’re making me uncomfortable, Malfoy. This is my final warning…”

_ “How are you feeling?” _

“What do you mean?”

_ “You're breathing hard and blushing.” _

“Let go of my hand!”

_ “Fine.” _

“…”

“…”

“Bollocks!”

_ “Now you have a blouse with an unwashable stain too.” _

“…”

_ “I liked it.” _

“…”

_ “This blouse.” _

“Stop it already.”

_ “Stop what exactly?” _

“Stop trying to make amends.”

_ “And if I really want to mend it?” _

“You're wasting your time.”

_ “How, in the name of Merlin, are you this bloody arrogant?” _

“Fancy that.”

“…”

“Who's she? Your ex-girlfriend?”

_ “What do you mean?” _

“Some perfect pureblood girl, I’m sure.”

_ “What does that have to do with anything?” _

“Everything. You hardly tried to ignore kissing her, didn't you?”

_ “Granger... Granger, where're you going? Sit down! Fuck.” _

* * *

“She left.”

**“Yeah.”**

“Why is he still here?”

**“He seems hesitant.”**

“No, she didn’t walk out; she just sat in another part of the room.”

**“Doesn't want to be reprimanded by her boss.”**

“That's sensible.”

_ “Malfoy's looking around now.” _

“Oh, you're with us again, Grice.”

_ “What else should I do since I hear you anyway?” _

**“I'm not sure whether to call it fate or gravity, but they're constantly bumping into each other now — in the lift, in the Atrium, at lunch.”**

_ “Did you bribe someone to keep tabs on them?” _

**“Rumour has it…”**

“And how do our poor fellows behave?”

**“I can tell they're on the verge of going cross-eyed from all the sidelong glances.”**

“Ha-ha!”

_ “Hush, Murphy!” _

“Oh, sorry! I know just how they feel.”

**“Mister Malfoy sometimes tries to get closer and say something, but Miss Granger always disappears right away.”**

“Does she look nervous?”

**“Yes, I think so.”**

“I just love them so.”


	9. Lecture 9

**“Excuse me, is this one taken?”**

_ “Sorry, it is.” _

**“Oh, it's all right.”**

_ “Granger!” _

“…”

_ “There's a free seat over here.” _

“…”

_ “It’s either that or remain standing.” _

“…”

_ “There you go. Smart choice, Granger.” _

“Shut up, Malfoy.”

_ “You know, it has nothing to do with blood purity.” _

“…”

_ “It was only because I thought you were going to hex me. 'The Most Promising Employee of the Department' hardly needs that kind of rumour.” _

“There have been rumors about us?”

_ “Do you work in a bunker?” _

“I don't…”

_ “There are.” _

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

_ “That's why I suggested that we forget all about it and go on as we were.” _

“…”

“…”

“I'm not sure I like that idea.”

_ “I don't either.” _

“Why?”

_ “Do you want me to say it out loud?” _

“Don't.”

“…”

“You're quite different now, Malfoy. You know there was a sliver of truth in my joke about mistaking you for another Draco Malfoy.”

_ “And what is so different about me?” _

“I don't know... For one, we're talking.”

_ “Good grief.” _

“We never talked at school.”

_ “It would have been strange, given the circumstances.” _

“Isn't it now?”

_ “I don’t know. You've got me mixed up.” _

“…”

_ “You know, Granger, life turned out to be rather cruel. Not that I'm complaining…” _

“I understand.”

_ “You're basically the only one here who's willing to talk to me.” _

“Still?”

_ “They seem unable to comprehend how I got this job in the Ministry. I was beginning to think I should quit — it has been impossible to work here. Then, I decided to stay just out of spite.” _

“How did you even get this job?”

_ “Passed an anonymous competitive examination. I was ranked as the best candidate.” _

“…”

_ “Why are you smiling?” _

“I just imagined the look on their faces when they saw your name.”

_ “Ha! Sometimes I picture it to cheer me up.” _

“I wish we hadn't had to go through all of that. I think about it often and it always hurts.”

_ “The war?” _

“Among other things.”

_ “It didn't take the war for me to hate Muggle-borns.” _

“Do you now?”

_ “No. My beliefs got a bit rusty, you see…” _

“Could that be a positive outcome of the war?”

_ “For Muggle-borns? Got rid of Draco Malfoy as a formidable enemy.” _

“Very funny.”

_ “Will you join me at lunch?” _

“I will.”

* * *

“I should've bet a hundred galleons!”

_ “Has he done it?” _

“He has! He's touched her hand!”

**“I didn’t see it.”**

“It was done very carefully, with just his pinky.”

**“What about her?”**

“Waited with bated breath. What the hell are you laughing at, Grice?”

_ “Your narrative is so poetic, you sure take the biscuit.” _

“Oh, come on.”

“…”

“…”

**“They're leaving the room together.”**

“They are.”

_ “Yes.” _


	10. Lecture 10

_ “Perfume and this dress…” _

“What are you babbling about?”

_ “How can you be so cruel to use this perfume when you're wearing this dress?” _

“Why? Is it too revealing?”

_ “No, it's wonderful.” _

“…”

“…”

“Thank you.”

_ “I'm still appalled.” _

“…”

“…”

“Now, may I state that you kissed me again?”

_ “You may, but why bother? I was there. I'm well-informed.” _

“Because a second time means it’s becoming a habit.”

_ “Well, that would never do.” _

“I liked the second time even more. You weren't so nervous this time.”

“…”

“What's wrong?”

_ “Don't say such things when we're in public.” _

“Why?”

_ “And for Merlin’s sake, wipe the grin off your face.” _

“Still, I don't understand.”

_ “Keep pushing me and you may not make it back to your desk after this lecture.”  _

“Don't.”

_ “Are you afraid?” _

“A little.”

_ “I don't force myself on anyone, you know.” _

“Just don't push me too hard.”

_ “I won't.” _

“…”

_ “You're the one who chose to wear that dress.” _

“Mandragora's cries, I'll throw it away — first thing when I get home!”

_ “Don't you dare.” _

“Or what?”

_ “You've said not to push you, so I won't answer your question.” _

“Hmm…”

_ “Do you regret it already?” _

“Not one bit.”

“…”

“…”

_ “My boss praised my work yesterday.” _

“That's great. Are you up for a promotion soon?”

_ “Are you having a laugh? I will never move up the ranks.” _

“But it's a good sign.”

_ “I've got a suspicion that he was a little tipsy.” _

“I don't think so. I’m sure his praise was well deserved.”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

_ “Nothing.” _

* * *

_ “He tucked her hair behind her ear.” _

“Aha, Grice, you've beat me to it. How very observant of you.”

_ “You've been waiting for me to say something.” _

“Just to prove that you're invested in this as well, even though you insist on pretending to be a party pooper.”

**“Also, they were kissing right by the door of her office.”**

“What?!”

_ “What?!” _

**“They seemed to believe nobody was around.”**

“Who was?”

_ “Please, let me guess. It was your secretary?” _

**“No, it was her friend, though ten points to the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Nice try!”**

“Let's get back to the point. Did he kiss her or vice versa?”

**“He started it.”**

“What was her response?”

**“As if she had been waiting for it.”**

_ “Well, I suppose that was inevitable.” _

“My, my, Malfoy, what a snake!”

_ “If not for his reputation, he would have all the women here at his feet — probably even a few men.” _

“…”

“…”

_ “I’m only being honest.” _

“You're exaggerating…”

_ “Am I?” _

**“I highly doubt that Miss Granger just goes for a pretty face.”**

_ “I don't think so either.” _

“That's why I'm so thrilled as to what will happen next!”

_ “We will never know.” _

“Ha! You wish! I'm not doing things by halves.”

_ “Only one lecture left.” _

“Don't see a problem there.”

_ “Are you going to keep spying on them?” _

“Mister Overjump, shall we go for a drink every Friday to share what we know?”

**“Tempting, tempting. I'm inclined to agree.”**

“Deal!”

_ “You're such a sicko, Murphy.” _

“Just admit it, Grice — you are in.”

_ “I am.” _


	11. Lecture 11

“Do they really think no one knows that they’re sleeping together?”

_“In fact, neither you nor I were a fly on their wall.”_

“Oh, cut it.”

_“Mister Overjump, what have you heard?”_

**“I'm sorry, I’ve got nothing to share.”**

_“Surprisingly enough.”_

“…”

“Granger ought to realize that being overly friendly with Malfoy might seriously hurt her career.”

_“You're being overly dramatic. She's a bright witch, she'll take care of it if needed.”_

“Right now she doesn't look like a bright witch. Not stupid, certainly. But it seems she's gone off her rocker, a little.”

**“What do you mean, exactly?”**

“The way she's tilted her head listening to whatever the blonde is saying.”

_“Look at them now…”_

“Really, Malfoy's off his head too.”

**“He only turned her way to hear the answer.”**

“Mister Overjump, you're making fun of me, aren't you? I trusted you to be on my side!”

_“You want to point out how fascinated Malfoy has been while looking into her eyes and how long his gaze has lingered on her lips, as though accidentally?”_

“I always knew I could depend on you, Grice. Always.”

_“Thanks.”_

**“I'm still on your side. I only believe the culmination of the whole thing to be pretty obvious.”**

“Our Friday nights remain unaffected?”

**“Certainly.”**

_“Yes.”_

“…”

“I think I'm worried about them. They're like children to me.”

_“Did you conceive Malfoy and Granger at the age of thirteen?”_

“That's my personal life, Grice, I don't want to discuss the matter.”

_“Oh really, now you don't?”_

“…”

“I hope they won't be fired.”

* * *

“Stop staring at me.”

_“I won't.”_

“…”

“…”

“Please…”

_“Granger, what's your complaint?”_

“You're watching me too closely and indiscreetly. There will be new rumours.”

_“What are you suggesting then? Listening to the lecture?”_

“You can try at least. Last chance to get a grasp on the topic.”

“…”

“…”

_“That does it. I'm tired.”_

“Only five seconds have passed. Could you manage to sit through Professor McGonagall's lecture now?”

_“Hm... If you looked at me with this sly little grin, venting your frustration on me — no, I wouldn't. I'd rather carry you down to my dorm.”_

“That's horrible! You would drag me away to the dungeons!”

_“To my marvellous dungeons. You would look great in green.”_

“And you — in red.”

_“Definitely not.”_

“Okay, you're right.”

“…”

“Your hand is awfully cold.”

_“Your exposed neck is almost begging for my awfully cold hand to touch it.”_

“Don't you dare!”

_“Come here…”_

“Malfoy! I'll never forgive you!”

“…”

“I said — don't you dare!”

“…”

“...”

_“What are you doing?”_

“Warming your hands.”

_“Holding them in your palms.”_

“There's nothing untoward.”

_“This is quite an intimate gesture.”_

“More intimate than kissing?”

_“Exactly.”_

“…”

_“The people on the left are already whispering.”_

“It’s all your fault.”

_“Can you imagine what would happen if someone tattled to Potter?”_

“…”

_“Why did you let go of my hands? They're still not warm enough.”_

“Malfoy, I don't know what's going on between us or how to explain it to my friends.”

_“Just tell them the truth. We kiss from time to time; and a few times we even—”_

“I mean it!”

_“You blush like a girl. That's charming.”_

“I am a girl.”

_“Potter and I are old friends; we’ll come to terms one way or another.”_

“You think you're funny.”

_“Really, I haven't seen him for ages. Maybe things got better and we didn't even notice.”_

“…”

_“Granger, you're an adult. Make your own choice as to whether you’re right to feel what you’re feeling... if there's anything to tell them in the first place.”_

“Are you angry with me?”

_“Angry?”_

“You seem so serious and it’s a little scary.”

“…”

“I get it, Malfoy. I do.”

_“What exactly?”_

“I've infected you with my own doubts.”

“…”

“I know it seems strange, but I don't regret having given in.”

_“It took me ten lectures to charm you, right, Granger?”_

“You horrid, self-indulgent man.”

_“Now, now, no insults.”_

“…”

“So you know, six was enough.”

“…”

“…”

“I'll tell my friends when I'm ready.”

_“Take your time. We have plenty to keep us busy.”_

“Are we going to dinner tonight?”

_“Certainly. We'll begin at the restaurant and finish at your flat.”_

“Of all the nerve!”

_“I assure you, you won't have any complaints.”_

“You better make sure that I don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope this work has brightened your mood at least a little.


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